free pattern | nobody's perfect shawl

Living imperfectly on purpose.

Recently we’ve been having lots of discussions about the negative impact of perfectionism in our lives and how we can be a better example for our daughter by showing her that nobody’s perfect. We want her to know that imperfection is normal, beautiful and freeing and whilst it can sometimes seem that’s not the case; exams, expectations, popularity, social media, beauty standards, job interviews, plastic surgery etc, you can resist the pull to be perfect if you try. But, it takes a strong will and a concerted effort to live your life imperfectly on purpose.

Her teacher had mentioned to us a few times that Betsy was terribly hard on herself (she is six!), berating herself for getting things wrong or messing something up. She asked us (gently) to work on letting Betsy know that it’s okay to not be perfect, or first, or excellent at everything and we’ve really taken this on board.

I have especially because I feel responsible. My childhood was all about having to be perfect and good and I never was (quite the opposite in fact), which meant I struggled with this growing up in an age without mobile phones, photoshop and the internet so heaven knows what that would be like today. It depresses me just thinking about Betsy comparing herself to some photoshopped Kardashian and I’m determined to do better for her, set a better example, so we’ve started to own up to our mistakes, embrace them and make sure that Betsy sees us doing so.

I’d go so far as to say that we are now living our lives imperfectly on purpose.

I’ll make dinner wrong on purpose, park the car wonky, go the wrong way, deliberately chip my nail polish….the possibilities for teaching your child (and yourself) that it’s okay not to be perfect are endless. Also, when you start being conscious of it you discover how much of your life you orchestrate to be perfect without really realising.

All this to say that I’ve finally included crochet in this scheme because it really is a major source of perfectionist stress for me. I expect you know what I mean; having to get colour schemes and orders just right, almost obsessing about getting the colour of projects perfect, endlessly scrolling for that perfect peach, or pink, or green.

So I started pottering about mindlessly making a shawl, really simply with double crochet stitches only, changing colour on each row without looking at what the next colour will be. I ended up really liking it. I find it quite relaxing giving away the control, although sometimes this is tough. Also the criss-cross effect you get from the double crochet legs on the reverse side makes it look kinda marled and the way this in turn highlights and masks the colours depending on what side you look, it means that the shawl looks completely different on both sides, it really is amazing.

THE RULES - yes there are rules.

You have to give up the need to control the colours and allow this shawl to be perfectly imperfect (aka ghastly) it feels weird and uncomfortable but you can do it, I know you can.

Use any weight yarn you like, just make sure you’ve got lots of scraps to choose from and pick a hook that is slightly bigger than the recommended size. I’m using my fingering weight scraps and some new mini skeins with a 3.75mm hook.

You could alternatively use a colour pack like the Scheepjes Stone Washed/River Washed or the Scheepjes Metropolis colour pack (I love this one) or collect yourself some minis from various places like I did, mine were predominantly from Etsy.

Put all your yarn in a big bag that you can’t see into and pick each ball without peeking. I mean it, no peeking. You have to use the first colour you pull out of the bag no matter how much it clashes or if you used it recently (my worst nightmare see above side B, pulled the light pink before the blue and again straight after….grrrr).

Don’t be fooled by how easy this all sounds, prepare to really find out how much of a control freak you are!

PATTERN - UK TERMINOLOGY

Using fingering weight yarn and a 3.75mm hook chain (ch) 4 and join with a slip stitch to form a loop.

Row 1. 2 double crochet (dc) into loop, (1dc, ch1, 1dc) into loop and place a stitch marker in the ch1 space as this can be really tricky to find, work 2 further dc into the loop, changing colour in your last stitch, ch1 (in new colour), turn.

Row 2. 2dc in first stitch, dc in each dc to marker, (1dc, ch1, 1dc) in ch1 space making sure you remove the marker and place it into the new ch1 space, dc in each dc to last, 2dc in final dc changing colour in your last stitch, ch1, turn.

Repeat Row 2 for pattern changing colour on every row.

PATTERN - US TERMINOLOGY

Using fingering weight yarn and a 3.75mm hook chain (ch) 4 and join with a slip stitch to form a loop.

Row 1. 2 single crochet (sc) into loop, (1sc, ch1, 1sc) into loop and place a stitch marker in the ch1 space as this can be really tricky to find, work 2 further sc into the loop, changing colour in your last stitch, ch1 (in new colour), turn.

Row 2. 2sc in first stitch, sc in each sc to marker, (1sc, ch1, 1sc) in ch1 space making sure you remove the marker and place it into the new ch1 space, sc in each sc to last, 2sc in final sc changing colour in your last stitch, ch1, turn.

Repeat Row 2 for pattern changing colour on every row.

TIPS

Make sure that you have your current colour out when you pick the next so you don’t pick the same colour twice.
The stitch marker is key for this shawl because the central increase space is not the most obvious of things. I place my marker by working the first double crochet and ch1, removing the marker, wrapping it around the ch1 and then working the next double crochet. This ensures the marker is in the ch1 space and not one of the double crochets. It is really easy to mistake a double crochet for a ch1 space!
Try to resist the urge to colour co-ordinate your bag of colours, I started off only using my peachy/orange minis and then realised I was cheating and threw them all into the one big basket which includes greens, purples, blues and (good heavens) black! Note to self - black is really hard to crochet with!

NOBODY’S PERFECT CAL

I’m informally running a CAL for this shawl on Instagram. When I say informally I mean that at the end of summer, maybe after the kids go back to school in September, I will look at the hashtag #nobodysperfectCAL and pick a few people to win some yarny prizes. So if you want to join me crocheting this beast over the summer holidays (because my nobody’s perfect shawl is nowhere near finished y’all) just get started and use the hashtag and we can all celebrate our imperfectly perfect shawls together. Hurrah!

Happy crocheting peaches.